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Thursday, December 20, 2012

A Poem About Nothing



Nothing

That’s what escaped your mouth

So entered all sorts of doubt
About
You and me
And what we could be
Because you’ve said nothing
Over the past weeks
You just wander past my desk
Without a greeting
Without our eyes meeting
And with my heart bleeding on my new shirt
It’s not that this is creating hurt
It’s not like we’re something yet
But we can’t be nothing
So I end up all upset
Canvasing the room for a glance from you
Knowing that there should be something I could do
But nothing comes
And nothing leaves
Then bushels of questions wreathe
Through my layers
Because although we aren’t holding hands
We’re in the same card game
We’re both players
Ok, well I’m probably not a “player”
But I think I have game
Anyway we need to find something better to talk about
Than our battles with the mundane
Right now the conversation has diminished to a faint heartbeat
When I need questions to knock me off my feet
And you are a questioner
You like to bathe in inquiries
So start asking
Give me material to thrust in my diaries
Don’t leave us up to some bland party chatter
Climb my mind
I’ll hand you the ladder
But nothing could leave me sadder
Than this nothingness
This love limbo
That no one wants to dive beneath
It’s the holidays
And although neither of us would put up a wreath
We both like to speak
 Is nothing simply being meek
Although I feel like an antique
Loving old traditions and courtesy
There has to be more than a nod and curtsy
There has to be language
A dialogue
Now I don’t need it to be complex
I’m already reading Beckett’s Endgame
But I can’t bear our relationship taking on that play’s name
As some popstar declared “Let’s get it started in here!”
Those lyrics are probably wrong
But we can have an argument about how I can’t remember any song
Or whether putting your heart in poetry and sharing it is right or wrong
Or how I’ll slaughter you if you pick up a bong
Because I’m a good girl
My favorite hobby is wandering through rhetoric’s swirls
Don’t buy me a string of pearls, that’s unnecessary
But how about a string of sentences
I know that silences are loud
But I want to scream
I need to travel through your hopes and dreams
And find my place there
This may be over exaggerated
Because I’m a square
But I’d like to be a circle
To connect the dots of my soul
I’d like to understand
Why I dream about true love and rock and roll
Why reality takes such a harsh toll
How to find beauty in my marks
How my universe is filled with chaos
Yet inside things remain stark
How I bite when I don’t know how to bark
Or why I’m so sensitive but appear like a shark
But I don’t know any of these things
I don’t know anything
I know nothing
But do I?
I’m not sure what that means
Now it isn’t just between you and me
It’s about streams
Of consciousness
And unconsciousness
You lingering within my dreams
We weren’t always together
But you see
When we coalesced I felt free
But not liberated
Because in those sentences
I never stated my hope
Of a probability of a possibility
Of emerging from nothingness
You should ask me to prom
But you won’t
You should come meet my mom
But you won’t
You should act like Shakespeare’s Poor Tom
But don’t
Because you’re making me crazy already
And insanity amongst us two
Is too much for the vanity of the world we knew
Or know
Or want to go
Can nothing move
Can it wobble into a groove
Can it decipher, contemplate, and choose
Because sometimes I feel like nothing
And I’ve chosen you
And in lieu of choosing
I’m going to decide
To end this poetic ride
And simply pray you’ll open your eyes
Or rather mouth
And try to find what I’m all about
Because I don’t really like to shout
I want whispers to tiptoe along me
So put your tongue into motion
And emotion
Cause some commotion
Nothing is order
And order is nothing
And boring
It’s time to be touring each other
Come on brother
Or dude
Or man
It’s time to take our nothing
And crush it within your beautiful hands.

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Ariel is available and interested in anything creative!
For spoken word performances & workshops, web & graphic design, or other writing/film projects please contact via email at arielsob@usc.edu.
New York & Los Angeles work preferred!