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Monday, May 4, 2015

Tsunami



You know when you meet someone so adorable
that your legs forget they have knees?
Last semester he wore jean jackets
and made my veins vibrate
When I told him I liked him
I did it seven times in a row


After an hour of failed seduction
I released him from my apartment
But before the door shut I whispered:


I’m the girl your ex was afraid of


Yes.
Yes I did.
But in my head
the statement wasn’t at dramatic


I’m a HSP
A highly sensitive person
Before discovering the condition
I was just the over-reacting
over-emotional
crazy bitch


The label is a cage
It locks the isolation out
I don’t feel misunderstood
now that I have a chance at understanding
why vulnerability feels so toxic
I can’t even swallow a teaspoon


See, I have a heightened nervous system
my neurons are bodybuilders carrying tons of emotion
my life story is written in caps lock
every light is bright
scent is strong
my phone roars like bomb sirens
my feelings run marathons inside me
I’m an old soul
whose inner life sprinted past the physical
everyone calls a bitch
because I’ve been living in dog years


In that doorway
I wasn’t threatening to feed your balls to my cat
I was saying
the last girl
can’t love you the way I will
my heart plays at twice the volume
amplified miles high
is double the distance to fall
when I fall for you
I will shatter the sidewalk
My footprint is an earthquake
My giggles are cackles
My small talk is at best oversharing


When there’s a hurricane inside you
your lips make shitty levees
When emotion floods out
People say I’m naturally a disaster


But love is so much more
when you give it the power to break you
Each crack
transforms my aorta to stain glass
transforms sunlight to colored beams
transforms kisses to grenades
demolishing ribcages inside me
I know of the freedom of drowning
singing without breath
And baby I know my voice quivers
but that’s doesn’t mean
you shouldn’t listen to this song
My sensitivity’s not a disorder
it’s a blueprint of my spine
my thin walls easily flood
but only waves can create pearls


They say humans are recycled stardust
cellular creatures who emerged from the sea
The tsunami inside me
brings us closer to home.

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Ariel is available and interested in anything creative!
For spoken word performances & workshops, web & graphic design, or other writing/film projects please contact via email at arielsob@usc.edu.
New York & Los Angeles work preferred!