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Sunday, May 1, 2016

They Say (After KiNG & Simply Kat)

They say  I bellyflopped out of a commitment-phones’ nightmare
I say  I'm still the girl of your dreams
They call me clingy,
        too sensitive,
     say my feet wear clumsy more than shoes
     plummet into blackhole hearts
I say  God attached my organs so 
     I could give you the whole galaxy inside me
They say  you’re too put together 
     try too hard to be something
I say  I'm tired of being called nothing 
     you haven’t been checking the voicemails from my anxiety
     Don't know that when my heartbeat is a dialtone
     a clean shirt means another morning
They say  the alarm is my only call out of bed each morning
I say  someone has to radio activate the sun
They say  I'm a sunny side up egg spilling out its yolk 
     Tell me to tuck my dick in  
     I don't have enough cock to be this cocky
I say  I've never had enough self-control to suffocate my tongue
They say  staple your mouth
     conceal your atria
     stop putting your private shit out there
I say  I can’t let it live in here
     my body won’t be another cage
They say  Someone will love you in spite of your body
     Say I’m thick
     curvy
     1-800 hotline bling fat
I say  I am hard to cut through
     ripple like radiowaves 
     that Drake is my kind of nice Jewish boy
They say  Brown boys like a little extra
     you’re something they could grab onto

They say it like an insult


I say I’m not defined by who wants to fuck me
     And maybe I don’t want white boys to fuck me
     Because we’ve been fucked over by them for way too long
     that snowmen melt into fishbowl hammerheads
     smash mothers into dinner      
     father tastes like a kitchen knife chasing me into memory
They say  if I want a guy to stay, 
     I should stop bringing up my daddy issues
I say  I’m looking for a man
They say  no man wants a girl with a voice
I say  every girl has a voice
They say  but yours is too loud
I say  silence is what you feed a genocide


They make a Holocaust joke
I don’t let them dig up the family graveyard


They say  You make everything about being Jewish
I say  too many people have died for me to be here
     Too many people have died for all of us to be here
     we are ricocheted bullets 
     out of ashes
     I write above a graveyard, guilty I’m not buried beneath
They say  I’m dying to be noticed


Call me obnoxious
the attention whore
the drama queen
the flaming cunt


I say  you shouldn’t have fed me matches
     If you were afraid of fire


Call me slut
call me prude
call me fucked up


I say  It really fucked you that up that I wouldn’t fuck you?
They say  fuck you
I say  I have beheaded ghosts you’ll never have to see
They say  we don’t see you
I say  listen
They say no
I say  listen
They say no
I say  I am an earthquake’s footprint stabbing a tsunami
     autotune my hiccups to hurricanes
     Paper clip my voicebox, 
     but I will never be your silent statistic
=They say  I’m always tossing in dead babies
I say  you’re just mad my anchors still cry
They ask  why are you crying?
I say  because I’m brave enough to still feel
They ask  How do you feel?
I say  my toes tremble on six inch heels of empowerment
     I’m always walking on eggshells
They say  They’re just eggshells
I say  we are ruptured nests
     we are pulsed from the cracks
     the rippled sum of broken sea
     we should be closer to our salty bloodlines
     but I can’t figure out how to swim


They ask  That why you dance like you are drowning?
I answer  difficult women never breathe easy


They ask  Why do you think everyone hates you?


     They wouldn’t if I knew the answer.



They say  ask a therapist
I say  I have an appointment with a empty page
They say  shed ink until you're naked starlight
I say  my veins are only glowsticks


They say you can swallow this darkness


I try to believe them
I try to believe myself
I try to believe in myself
I try to believe


They say  You have such a big personality
I say  I never dreamt of being this small.

Contact

Ariel is available and interested in anything creative!
For spoken word performances & workshops, web & graphic design, or other writing/film projects please contact via email at arielsob@usc.edu.
New York & Los Angeles work preferred!