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Wednesday, June 18, 2014

I Need An Exorcism

They tell me to go to a shrink
But I really need an exorcism
There are demons inside me
Emerging as I reduce bracelets to beads
Shrieks to bellows
Diving octaves below my level chirp
They steal my legs
Reduce them to quaking twigs
Replace my blood with steam
I press repress
Keep my pupils focused on empty space
But I find my eyes searching for throwable objects
Aimed at the devils who called them from slumber
They reappear on the days when I'm in bed at 4pm
Hoping to awake as someone--something different
To dream away the nightmares
When a fetal position intensifies my core's emptiness
Because closer to my mother is the last place I want to be
I am not a child
I am a mistake
The result of the wrong bodily fluids crashing against each other
I wasn't unplanned but I am an accident
A car crash
Worldly remedies can't subdue the supernatural creatures
I take walks trying to run from myself
Mediate to silence the unfamiliar voices shouting in my mind
But the Atlantic always washes the rage to shore
Surfacing the un-cageable beast beneath my skin
I've tried to replace the anger with agony
Find a more socially acceptable frustration to express
Transform manic to panic attacks
But my desperation is anything but quiet
I used to wonder
Why the abused refused help
But now I understand
It convinces you that you're alone
And if someone bothered to break your isolation
You're not even worth saving
Your hair is too short for the prince to scale the tower
Your face too blemished for an awakening kiss
But I am no princess
I am possessed not a possession
So I DIYed my salvation
Bound pens together in a holy t
I expelled those demons
And left them on this page.

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Contact

Ariel is available and interested in anything creative!
For spoken word performances & workshops, web & graphic design, or other writing/film projects please contact via email at arielsob@usc.edu.
New York & Los Angeles work preferred!