I Need An Exorcism

They tell me to go to a shrink

But I really need an exorcism

There are demons inside me

Emerging as I reduce bracelets to beads

Shrieks to bellows

Diving octaves below my level chirp

They steal my legs

Reduce them to quaking twigs

Replace my blood with steam

I press repress

Keep my pupils focused on empty space

But I find my eyes searching for throwable objects

Aimed at the devils who called them from slumber

They reappear on the days when I'm in bed at 4pm

Hoping to awake as someone--something different
To dream away the nightmares

When a fetal position intensifies my core's emptiness

Because closer to my mother is the last place I want to be
I am not a child
I am a mistake
The result of the wrong bodily fluids crashing against each other
I wasn't unplanned but I am an accident
A car crash

Worldly remedies can't subdue the supernatural creatures

I take walks trying to run from myself

Mediate to silence the unfamiliar voices shouting in my mind

But the Atlantic always washes the rage to shore

Surfacing the un-cageable beast beneath my skin

I've tried to replace the anger with agony

Find a more socially acceptable frustration to express

Transform manic to panic attacks

But my desperation is anything but quiet

I used to wonder

Why the abused refused help

But now I understand

It convinces you that you're alone

And if someone bothered to break your isolation

You're not even worth saving

Your hair is too short for the prince to scale the tower

Your face too blemished for an awakening kiss

But I am no princess

I am possessed not a possession

So I DIYed my salvation

Bound pens together in a holy t

I expelled those demons

And left them on this page.