As soon as we departed from camp
Seven year old Sienna
Started a fight about  how it wasn’t right
That she didn’t get to sit with Brooke
I tried to split the conflict by the book
Why don’t you just sit with me instead?
She shoulda shook her head 
But instead she whipped her lanyard tips at my tits
And felt all too happy to belt
I don’t want to sit with THOSE!

I’ve reached a point
Where third graders feel the need to comment on my breasts
It wasn’t something I thought I had to address
But yes
I have two round sacks attached to my chest
And I used to think I was blessed
But damn Green Eggs & Ham 
Have been served up like breakfast
Thelma & Louise have been attacked
Desperately trying to survive a constant car crash
Cause if you look like me 
You need to watch your front
Not your back

 I don’t need to mention my melons attract attention
Like from the teen on Halloween who copped a feel
Shouting Those can’t be real!
What, are they sparkling and teal?
Do they walk and talk and demand
For you to test them out with your sweaty hand

And damn it’s kinda insane that I would complain
Because I admit I put Barnes & Noble here through the most shit
I can't explain why I leave them hanging 
Down to my knees
Stuff them in dresses that won't let them breathe
And heave my leftover snacks inside their cracks
But give me some slack
It's outta whack that
I’ve always done well in school
But kind of fool ends up with a set of double Ds?
God must of been drunk when he created these
He poured an extra helping even though I never said please
I don't have the capacity 
To actively care for these massively large commodities
I can't do geometry and biology at the same time
I was meant to rhyme not run when some slimy bum
Follows me shouting we got chemistry
Because my crop top can't cover enough of my chest to let him know 
I'm not asking for sex

And NO I don't want some fries with that shake
Or another $40 bra to break
It was my mistake 
I shouldn't have just rested them on the table
Because my straps weren't able to elevate Britney & Lindsay to a stable state
And yes
I did wear that low cut dress to mess with you in class
Because you were a dick and I predict that a glance at these tits
Will leave you kissing my ass
And I don't mean to be crass
 But here's a quick tip
You can't just grip one and forget about the other
Like you're milking a cow with a uni-utter

It occurred to me that I utterly
Would like to be 
In the same age and stage as Sienna
When I was flat and Hannah told me that
My boobs would progress if I pressed my chest more regularly
I'd go back and use my right hand more sparingly
Because these standards of beauty are tearing me apart
Who decided to take the sexy out of smart
Thought if I took my sweater puppies for a walk
That would make me hot
And forgot they're just guard dogs for my heart

When I was seven I believed the only thing separating me from beauty 
Was a pair of Double Ds
But now I need a skinnier waist
Less acne on my face
And to embrace every look but my own
Be pretty or alone
But honestly I don't give a crap about your thigh gap
And I'm not going to let 7 year olds on a school bus or tumblr decide
Whether I'm accepted or denied

That's fine, I replied
Because I get to sit within the bra and skin I'm in
And that's the best fucking seat on this entire ride.


Popular Posts