Size Too

She looked at me with condemning eyes
As I approached her with my crashing thighs
From the other sides of the dress store

What size?
She said
The question we curvy girls all dread
The one that has been wandering through my head
Ever since the thread of prom dresses started on Facebook

Her head shook.
It was one of those awkward silences
The kind that you think you can only discover at waiting rooms
At clinics
Or after he tells you he loves you
And you can’t mutter out
Or stutter out
The words “me too”
She looks me up and down
Like she’s Nicolas Cage
Who’s found a new tasteless film to star in
She says
Sorry sweetheart
You’re not that thin
And with a grin she hands me a size twelve
Saying this is what you’ll fit in

Big mistake
It took only a moment for me to make up my mind
To kick her bony behind

I told you I’m a size two
And that’s the truth
I’m a size too powerful to fit your standards
Too chill to be wound up like lanyards
Too smart to have hair this light
And too fast not to be in flight
Too beautiful not to shatter your sight
Too mourning the death of girls who look like sex
Because they have extra padding underneath a dress
And I must confess that I’m a size too white to have these breasts
Too young to have a heart this wise in my chest
And too fatherless to be such a success
Too girly to possess a voice that can stress all the things that make me stressed
And speak when I’m getting less than I deserve
Too much from the burbs to serve you
With rhymes that can swerve you off your path
Too error depleted for this to be the first draft
Too artsy to be decent in math
Too high school to not give a crap
Whether guys think I’m hot
Or if I should be putting more of my stew in the pot
And ask me if I’ve ever done drugs
Or beer
And have no fear to proclaim
I do not!
I’m too old to have never been kissed
And too outspoken to have ever been missed
Too forward to be tricked
By the tip of a trick that would stick memories of him
I wish I could lick
Each and every one of them and never swallow
Keep their trim on the rim of my mouth
Too bold not to shout
The truth whenever I find it
Too cinematic not to rewind it
And sign every moment like I owned it
With poems like this
And most of all
I’m too good for you bitch
Too good to be constrained by the perceptions in your brain
Because they drive me insane
And you’ve struck out
Even though your ball is in the wrong lane
And just so I don’t have to refrain
You are a size zero
Zero respect for anyone who wants to infect
This world with something more than tits on stick
Zero ability to reflect
And realize that those Starbucks lattes are like toats gonna pack on you
From your thighs to your toes
And zero understanding that you looked better with your old nose
I’m a size too fat to rise to the occasion
Take your words and rearrange them
And explain them so you know what you just said
And you can go to bed at night and cry for the lies this world has told you
How it molds you into ordinary
Thinking standard was extraordinary
Because guess what?
I like that I jiggle
It lets my body dance even when I’m not
And even though you might think I’m chubby and not hot
I’m a hell of a lot more creative on the spot
I’m a virgin who won’t make his bed rock
But make his heart stop
Because I’m starting a revolution
Where we pick up the pollution
Left by the media
And it’s promotions that twigs are beautiful
And it’s preconceived notions
That when a girl weighs over 150 pounds
You can discard her emotions
So there is going to be a little commotion
Greater than the earthquake that erupts in China when I jump up and down
I’m going to rearrange this nation
And I’m starting with this town
Because I’m not the only size too
You’ll find around
 And I don’t need you
To find the perfect gown.


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