AV Club

If you asked me what I wanted to become
When I was ten
I’d say Ali
Because when you were Ali
Things just went the right way
No matter what you’d say
It’d come out beautiful
Until some bizarre scene
At age seventeen
When she was telling me about her campers

Oh, I had the weird bunk
And I was like completely happy about it
Because deep down I’m a dork,
But they were so surprised I knew the Harry Potter musical
And I was talking about it to my unit head
Who is from the same town as some of them
And thing is that although they’re a lot of fun at camp
They have no clue how to act in the real world
While the other girls are hooking up with the guys
They just want a guy to ask them to banquet
And hold their hand

I hold back that I was in that bunk
That I still want those things
That I’m about to go into college
And just like those 13 year olds
I'm ok just being kissed
I resist the wish
To tell her that I got into my top choice
Been told a world without my love is doom
Performed for a room 
I don't boast
That I've had an article on the Huffington post
While only ever undressing myself with words

Because we live in a world
Where we are taught
Not only to hate our bodies
But what we do with them

You don’t want to be a nerd
But just the right amount of slut
That sex is the only cool way to be touched
And if we go too far we are rushed
Into titles
Acceptable by not us but celebrity idols

If you have a scarlet A or V
You’re a member of the AV club

I’ve read so many whore confessionals
But never a poem about the sin
Of the lip virgin
Because we’re engaged in something too shameful
Good is the new bad
And there’s nothing as sad
As the celibate old hag
Because unlike tricks
We can’t bitch
About our issues with our dad
And we have abuses of excuses
Of girls who treat their bodies as his
But my best friend
Must extend a lie
When she looks you in the eye
And “confesses” how far she’s bin
Because apparently a body can’t be a temple
If it’s let no one in
And the thread of civilization is wearing thin
When both "whore" and "virgin"
Are an insult

But I just sit there
Unable to revolt
When perfect Ali tells me
That anyone who hasn’t fit into the complex of sex
Can’t survive in society
I just want to bolt
Because it’s clear that loving yourself isn’t enough
And all this bullshit stuff
Like you suck if you don’t suck
But if you suck too much then you’re a slut
And innocence is just an unlucky rut

I don’t kick her butt
And say what makes me hot
Is the spot
Where my soul goes on fire
And that all women are created are equal
Whether they love for words or hire
Just because sex sells
Doesn’t mean I have to be a buyer
And I’ll still respect you
If you’ll respect the fact I'm not a what
I'm a who
Because I’m no late bloomer
I’m a tree
And when spring comes
It’ll be right on time for me
Because I’m not going to reflect
A society that won’t accept
Girls who go to the streets so they can eat
But those who give everything out for free
Because there is nothing sexier
That watching “Sex In the City” on DVD

But I sit silent
Afraid to speak
Transformed into meek
By the threat I’ll be a freak
Because brides still wear white
But chastity is no longer chic
And I feel my voice trying to peek
Through my fears and ribs
As I replace my personal taste
With nods and fibs
And I just think what a waste
Of a perfect face
Sewed onto a soul of misconceptions
And wrong directions
Who thinks she’s a ten
Because she’s given that many erections
Caught in the reflection
Of who we can and can’t be
Thinking that feminism and liberty
Is another reason to get on your knees
Because Alice Paul and Susan B. Anthony
Fought for us to do what we please
Not to please
That we have the choice of being a prude or tease
If we want to fly like the birds
Before we get busy like the bees
And the girl who I wished I could be
Who’s got popularity and admission into Ivies
Thinks anyone taking their time has a disease
And it’s not just STDs that have us infected
Because we’re living life unprotected
A mix of the 50s and 70s
Women are trying to breathe out progress
But all we exhale is a wheeze
And beam at the scheme
That says you have to be gay
To play for your own team
And that it’s ok to say
Ariel, hey,
It’ll happen for you some day
Like standing on my own feet I’m incomplete
For we’re not just searching for seats in congress
But the room that can possess
The right to address our own destiny
Where we can be who and with who we want to be
Not the land of free love
But self love
And now I’m don’t want to be Ali,
Even though she’s a bright dove
But the girl who’s ok to say
All of the above.


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