Poet Problems

During my first break up
My boyfriend told me to stop using metaphors.
I get really pissed off when songs have bad slanted rhyme
I've spent more time watching slam poetry than TV 
I find a guys pick up line much more relevant than his face 
To me
An I love you is a more alarming and disarming attack than a suicide bomber
But I'd call you my "love" before the "boy I like" first because it sounds better
My tongue is more precious than my lungs
And my lips more essential than my liver
I think things like light and wind can quiver
Silence makes me shiver because its so damn cold
And stories are the only thing I've ever told
My freezer can mold more words than ice
My fridge however just molds strawberries
My mother finds haikus in my pants as she folds laundry
And I remember the lines I wrote about my first dance more than the romance
Chances and change jingle in my pockets
And I only obey wedding bells
The only thing ill sleep with is your diary
But it won't be protected ;)
I've perfected the art of only having readers desire me
Because I know these are my problems
My poet problems
(Though anyone who wanted to see their child become a doctor would say being a poet is the problem)
But you
You say they're your favorite part of me
That the chip on my shoulder came from carrying too many similes
And the fact I rhyme is what weakens your knees
How I can find a thousand synonyms for sex makes me sexy
Are you for real?
This perplexes me
If this is a way to steal my heart
Then you--
Have got it down
Because I'd rather wear words than a wedding gown 
You told me you'd like to get me down
And write you poetry
From what I know about guys
You're either insane or have ovaries
I'm seventeen and have cellulite!
I think ice cream is a food group
I watch game of thrones and put poems about guys I like on my blog
These things should hog your attention
Not the fact I can mention that rhymes with convention
And say that to attend detention is a shit invention that we should throw a wrench in because we already have this endless sentence of adolescence which leaves us just craving independence 
That's not romance 
At least to most people
These are problems
You should address that my poetic dresses need hems
Not treat my quirks like gems
Unless, of course
You also have them?


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