Poet Problems

During my first break up

My boyfriend told me to stop using metaphors.

Dick.

I get really pissed off when songs have bad slanted rhyme

I've spent more time watching slam poetry than TV 

I find a guys pick up line much more relevant than his face 

To me

An I love you is a more alarming and disarming attack than a suicide bomber

But I'd call you my "love" before the "boy I like" first because it sounds better

My tongue is more precious than my lungs

And my lips more essential than my liver

I think things like light and wind can quiver

Silence makes me shiver because its so damn cold

And stories are the only thing I've ever told

My freezer can mold more words than ice

My fridge however just molds strawberries

My mother finds haikus in my pants as she folds laundry

And I remember the lines I wrote about my first dance more than the romance

Chances and change jingle in my pockets

And I only obey wedding bells

The only thing ill sleep with is your diary

But it won't be protected ;)

I've perfected the art of only having readers desire me

Because I know these are my problems

My poet problems

(Though anyone who wanted to see their child become a doctor would say being a poet is the problem)

But you

You say they're your favorite part of me

That the chip on my shoulder came from carrying too many similes

And the fact I rhyme is what weakens your knees

How I can find a thousand synonyms for sex makes me sexy

Are you for real?

This perplexes me

If this is a way to steal my heart

Then you--

You

Have got it down

Because I'd rather wear words than a wedding gown 

You told me you'd like to get me down

And write you poetry

From what I know about guys

You're either insane or have ovaries

I'm seventeen and have cellulite!

I think ice cream is a food group

I watch game of thrones and put poems about guys I like on my blog

These things should hog your attention

Not the fact I can mention that rhymes with convention

And say that to attend detention is a shit invention that we should throw a wrench in because we already have this endless sentence of adolescence which leaves us just craving independence 

That's not romance 

At least to most people

These are problems

You should address that my poetic dresses need hems

Not treat my quirks like gems

Unless, of course

You also have them?