Fading Tide

I am too accustomed to drowning above sea level
Gasping in a flood of forgotten memories
When you give yourself to a whirlpool
the strokes of her fingers won't wash away

When you kiss a tsunami
Spend a night 
pressed against a blushing ocean
The blue you don’t fall for
But into
You'll take razors to her waves
And snort her foam like cocaine
Like swallowing syllables
Like inhaling a song
Belugas singing operatic lullabies

Whales do not have gills
Which is to say
They do not breathe under water
Which is to say
They live half drowning
Feeding off a universe they were not built to inhabit
The sting of saltwater across their lungs

She was crinkled toes
The misplaced habitat
And you were an orca in the closet
she wasn't going back inside

You loved her more than breathing
More than the dresses you hid the gay under
You gave her the parts they told you only belonged to men 
Tasted your mother's trembles on her lips

I’ve never loved someone for their convenience
Someone who could deliver all of themselves
So I chase tidal waves
Let them step on me
because their footprint is a larger stamp of passion
than any second date

Have you ever suffocated above water?
Would you dive into acid
Because it’s the pool big enough to swallow you
Because it’s the only body that can cradle yours
Because the air you can breathe tastes like arsenic
Like cracked veins
Like open wound apologies
The stabbing empty?

I am too accustomed to drowning above sea level
Transplanting my heart into the fading tide


Popular Posts