My 16th Birthday Post

It's hard to find the words hidden in m brain to write a proper post for this moment in my life. I only have an hour left of this birthday, a birthday that is repeatedly glamorized and told to be a coming of age. But I know that this day is not what it claims to be. I did not awake this morning as a complete woman, just a person in progress, a soul still be created and refined, torn down and redefined, and forced to look forward while looking behind. I am Ariel, and now I am 16. I have often stood still as I watched the world deteriorate around me, and tried to rebuild what I could, and I have often been the destructor. But this birthday, a one filled with emotions--love from those dearest to my heart, fear of the future, and regret for the apology not said, the road not taken, the fight forgotten--I have made a single wish: for happiness and health, for there to be creation and no longer destruction, to be as whole as an incomplete person can be. I love my family so much, more then I think they could ever understand, because I feel that as well as I can express myself through the written words, I often struggle with expression of the appreciation, respect, and intense love through my actions. I hope that I, an underage, rough, scatterbrained, tame, wild, inspired, fighting voice can finally find the way to express its meaning through my actions, not only art.

I love this world, and the g-d that has put me here, has given me the resilience to survive the challenges I have been presented, and I love all the people that can appreciate what my voice has to offer and are willing to take the time and sincere care and passion to help me improve it.

I think that every voice is born imperfect, and it is only through friendship and family one can smooth out all the cracks.

Dear Mama, thank you for always being there, for loving me for the 16 year old I am and the person I am becoming, throughout every moment, every struggle, every time I fall down and feel like I don't have the strength to get up.

Dear Rebecca, thank you for being my best friend, my sister, my framework I could not exist without.

Dear Grandma, thank you for being a loving and generous individual that I know will always protect me.

Dear Jeff, thanks for the laughter.

Dear Grandpa, thank you for being an image of strength, honor, and dignity, and for never accepting anything less than the best I can deliver.

Dear words, poetry, language, prose, plays: thank you for giving me the power to say this, for without you, it would all be locked within me, trapped, just like how I feel far too often in this life.