Last Night

Last night

I had an adult sleep over 

With Moses

After 30 minutes, he said, "Let my people go!"

Which was pretty easy

Since I was queasy

After getting hammered with Thor

And one thing more

MC Hammer asked if he could nail me

To which I responded with a

"you can't touch this"

I got a kiss from KISS

Which had way too much tongue

So I was pretty tightly wrung

Until I told a joke to the Joker

and he didn't laugh

I tried to get Ke$ha to take a bath

But all she wanted to do is sleep in it

Shit, last night

I watched chopped with a weeping willow

And saw teen stars having a pillow fight

Then Amanda Bynes was of course feeling hoarse

So she went to the bar

And bargained for two shots of crazy

I watched Mother Mary shout "OH BABY"
On the dance floor 

As she formed a bond with Pussy Galore

Then a whore gave me a tour

Through every politician's office

Then this band, One, stopped us

Because they need a direction

I saw Dracula checking his reflection 

To ensure that his lipgloss was up to Robert Pattinson's inspection

I stirred dessert with Strega Nona

And found out that Lisa, was a Mona

And felt like a loner until I was in an argument with 12 angry men

Big Bird told me I was a 10

As Mark Zuckerberg asked to be my friend

I told Meryl Streep it's out of wack to act like someone you ain't

Then I was about to faint

Because Monet offered to paint

An airbrush tattoo on my kaboose

As Archimedes said I was obtuse 

As Elvis said I needed to loosen up

As Pamela Anderson asked for an extra cup

I told she had enough already

Then the tide implied we should go steady

While Teddy Roosevelt felt me up and said it was a bear hug

And I felt like a thug as I had skittles with Eminem

And macked on some mac'n cheese with Macklemore

Then I wrapped up some of 50 Cents' time

But only gave him a penny for my thoughts

And took a few shots with Abe and JFK

I was getting tipsy but they told me I'd be ok

As long as I threw a creativitea party until Independence Day

But this is about my night

Last night

The last night

Where these colored lights can shift my sight

Because I party hard and I party right

Stay assy and keep my class tight

And although you might invite me 

To where people are getting stoned and drunk to death

The feeling in my chest is that if I want an evening

With loud music and no rest

I don't need to test the law

When I have a rickshaw

That takes me to a rave without a flaw

Because there aren't people, faces, or places more interesting 

That I can find

Then within the walls of my mind.