Last Night

Last night
I had an adult sleep over 
With Moses
After 30 minutes, he said, "Let my people go!"
Which was pretty easy
Since I was queasy
After getting hammered with Thor
And one thing more
MC Hammer asked if he could nail me
To which I responded with a
"you can't touch this"
I got a kiss from KISS
Which had way too much tongue
So I was pretty tightly wrung
Until I told a joke to the Joker
and he didn't laugh
I tried to get Ke$ha to take a bath
But all she wanted to do is sleep in it
Shit, last night
I watched chopped with a weeping willow
And saw teen stars having a pillow fight
Then Amanda Bynes was of course feeling hoarse
So she went to the bar
And bargained for two shots of crazy
I watched Mother Mary shout "OH BABY"
On the dance floor 

As she formed a bond with Pussy Galore
Then a whore gave me a tour
Through every politician's office
Then this band, One, stopped us
Because they need a direction
I saw Dracula checking his reflection 
To ensure that his lipgloss was up to Robert Pattinson's inspection
I stirred dessert with Strega Nona
And found out that Lisa, was a Mona
And felt like a loner until I was in an argument with 12 angry men
Big Bird told me I was a 10
As Mark Zuckerberg asked to be my friend
I told Meryl Streep it's out of wack to act like someone you ain't
Then I was about to faint
Because Monet offered to paint
An airbrush tattoo on my kaboose
As Archimedes said I was obtuse 
As Elvis said I needed to loosen up
As Pamela Anderson asked for an extra cup
I told she had enough already
Then the tide implied we should go steady
While Teddy Roosevelt felt me up and said it was a bear hug
And I felt like a thug as I had skittles with Eminem
And macked on some mac'n cheese with Macklemore
Then I wrapped up some of 50 Cents' time
But only gave him a penny for my thoughts
And took a few shots with Abe and JFK
I was getting tipsy but they told me I'd be ok
As long as I threw a creativitea party until Independence Day

But this is about my night
Last night
The last night
Where these colored lights can shift my sight
Because I party hard and I party right
Stay assy and keep my class tight
And although you might invite me 
To where people are getting stoned and drunk to death
The feeling in my chest is that if I want an evening
With loud music and no rest
I don't need to test the law
When I have a rickshaw
That takes me to a rave without a flaw
Because there aren't people, faces, or places more interesting 
That I can find
Then within the walls of my mind.


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