Not Your Love

I want a send you handwritten letters love
A I can use you as a sweatshirt love
A I might need some medical help love
An infection of perspiration, 
sweaty palms, 
fits of dizziness, 
and disorientation
Reduced mental awareness, 
racing thoughts, 
and impaired reasoning skills
Love that involves just the right amount of longing
That hurts in the best way possible
One that's possessive and obsessive
The form where I can show him all my private parts without taking off my clothes
A lets dance love
A I remember every word you've ever said to me love
A love that's like chocolate with jalapenos in it
A Nicholas Sparks love steaming with Sarah Dessen and Sylvia Plath
A love where the only thing between our palms is promises
The I can't wait to fall asleep so I can be with you again in my dreams love
The I can watch reruns of friends and find them romantic love
One where the only jealousy is from other couples
Because they wish they were half as damn cute as we are
And I have to repeat everything you said verbatim to my friends just so they can understand just how fucking loving our love is love
The kind where break up songs make me feel fuzzy inside 
Because I'll never have to relate to them again
Where I find roses in my doorstep
And come back to your place
To write poetry with you
A love where I feel naked in emails
Tantalized in text messages
And phenomenal on the phone
I want the kind of love where loving you makes me love me more
And electricity ripples through each wandering breath
A carry my books and open the door love
A give me all the material for 7 poems with your smile love

I want your love

Mostly because I can't have it.

The love where we say 

I miss you
And really mean 
I missed you
And all the chances we had to be together
Before we became impossible
And all I could write about is the love I wish I had
Instead of the one we have.


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