For More Than Poetry

Welcome to my poetry blog! Please visit my Official Website, for films, visual art, published prose and other news!

Trending Poems

Friday, May 31, 2013

Risk

If there is any game I’m good at
It’s risk
I’m not afraid to whisk myself
To where there is a wealth of danger
I undress my soul for strangers
And I reach for the fire
I can’t stop drop and roll
Because I was not meant to be of the same mold
I’ve never been content
Leaving my head bent down
And ambitions barely off the ground
I’ve been listening to glory’s sound
And I’ve found that I don’t want to take a walk around
The peripheral of success
I have a need to be the girl in the couture dress
With 100 fortune lane
As my I address
I confess that I think less of those who settle
Who feel special
Being a pot on a shelf with a wealth of kettles
I don’t want the Ivy League
I want the Big League
I want to intrigue nations and celebrities
I want to believe
In all my fantasies
It’s great being a doctor or lawyer
But I breathe in visions of becoming Tom Sawyer
A hero who goes and defeats demons
I’m not content with making lemonade with my lemons
They should be liquid gold
And I’ve been told
That always standing out
Using clothes and poetry to shout
Is stupid and dangerous
But I don’t do it for a rush
I do it because I’m a me
Not an us
And no wish was accomplished
Without a risk
Because those have the highest rewards
And although I have less awards
I’ve got hoards of potential
Standard has limited fates
But mine are exponential
There’s a drug I’ve been taking
Now don’t be mistaking this for a biological twist
But it certainly is illegal in suburbia
With its picket fences and choreographed dances
Because I have been taking chances
Since the time I wore my pants inside out in 3 grade
To when I took the queen of spades
And wasn’t afraid to shoot for the moon
I want to encompass
The prowess of the hippies and baby boom
And not be afraid to bloom in another season
With simply the reason that perhaps my petals
Will settle
In a more beautiful spread
There are no voices in my head
But I certainly am crazy
Because I find conformity lazy
And the concept of losing moments of success
Doesn’t raze me
Just raises me
I won’t flee from adventure
I will venture into the unknown
Likely to fail
But also likely to have grown
And I have shown up
For life
That game is boring and tame
Unless you play it along with

Risk.

Friday, May 17, 2013

Show Your Support

Hi everyone!
For the past two years I have been posting on this blog and literally pouring my heart out with each publication, but today is the first day I have posted one of my performances live!
It is for a spoken word contest through the National Forensics League, and winning this competition would be a complete dream come true!
The 5 poets with videos that have the most likes on Youtube will have the opportunity to compete in national finals and open for Daniel Beaty, my poetic idol and author of the amazing piece "Knock, Knock".

PLEASE LIKE THIS VIDEO, IT IS A VOTE FOR MY FUTURE!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=37PyD8EcbpY

Stay Creative,
Ariel

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

AP Comparative

As I'm waiting for the AP to rape me
With multiple choice that berates me
And part twos that degrade me
Back to grade eight
The boy in front of me decides to display
His misplaced mis-placed face

"You know your poem about a girl being abused by poetry really freaked me out."

I restrained my pain and need to shout
Because I've reached a new pathetic peak
The ability to freak out a freak
He tells me I inspired him to tweet 
One of his greatest tweets of all twime
How divine
I said 
When I wished he would just eat me instead
Because that would bring less dread to my head
But I wasn't that strong
Because what was wrong with this kid
Was that he is known for strangling people.
Yes--I can't make this up--strangling people.
They say he got kicked out of private school for it
And thrown in our hall in the fall
I suppose he's never been to the mall
Because he wears Brandeis sweatshirts every day
Okay, I sound like a bitch.
But my personality tends to switch
When someone I despise looks at me with crossed eyes
And states the poetry I create is weird
Last week he tried to convince us that babies are selfish evil creatures
And the 1 child policy in China has been expanded to 3
3!
Fucking 3!
Excuse me
I wrote a poem about how poetry abused me
And it doesn't amuse me
That when I try to be a creative rebel 
It pulls me down to his level
And his hands aren't red
Mine are
Because I said for everyone to jump in my rhetoric car
And it's juvenile of me to think 
That we'd reach the brink of a mile
Before someone said they didn't like the seats
And I'm not allowed to get heated
Because someone read my work
Then got worked up
The earth isn't going to erupt
And bestow on me emerald pens
But if someone is going to say I've produced crap
I'd rather it be my friends.

Sunday, May 12, 2013

The Loves of My Life


I
met the love of my life
when i was four
and when i was seven
and when i was twelve
and when i was fourteen
and when i was seventeen
he was blonde and tall
and he dropped my preschool jaw
down to the floor
we shared a milkshake at the diner
and talked about soccer
a sport i pretended i played and understood
he was born deaf
and said i was the next van gogh
and expected me to cut off my ear
he had no fear to flaunt his jewfro
but took four months for his lips to go on the back of my neck
while we were watching the most romantic film of all time
The Pink Panther
2
He sent me definitions of words i never knew existed
He resisted saying hello for months
but he never failed to trail my skin with goose bumps


he
and he
and he

were destined for me
for eternity
we fit like spit in a ball
like japy moms in their daughters jeans at the mall
like leafs on the grass in the fall
he understood me
showed me what i could be
fulfilled every fantasy
even when moments got hairy
i knew we were going to get married
he’d be by my side because i was meant to be his bride
but when i closed my eyes
he would vanish
only to be replaced
by a new face
set of hands and atria
and each time it left me terrified
how i lied to myself
saying that our life had an eternal shelf
and my heart is left with welts
from the times i led it along
and smacked it around
how i labelled its sound without even taking its pulse
i wanted to believe
that i had found him
when i should’ve been waiting to find me first
because the worst
was that 
LOVE
didn’t go as rehearsed
no cake or promise love til hearse
i thought i liked the song
before i even got through the second verse
i reached into my purse
and gave him my id
because something inside me
informed me that he was the one
and i let him strum
ME
along like a guitar
cemented to him like tar
i dont know why im so positive of something so fleeting
i think im depleting my deposits of positivity
there isn’t much left to give of me
because i’ve given away my heart
and all i have left is kidneys
and that would not look good as a hallmark card
my arteries have been clogged with lard
because i have been eating naive pie
thinking that one glance from his eye
means that there’s a connection
that i should look and see him in my reflection
and after much introspection

i’ve realized that i’m not carrie bradshaw

these guys dont unzip my bra
but my skin
i let them look within
rearrange my veins and domains
when all i really know is their names
i hop into love too early
probably because that makes better poetry
because that is the only man who’s stuck by me
i’ve been in a relationship with rhetoric for years
and i guess im destined
to marry my own art
because regardless of how many times i’ve rented it out
he’s the only one who owns my heart.

Thursday, May 2, 2013

I Know Where God Is


I know where God is
That’s right
I know where God is
And she's not hiding
She's trapped
decaying shackles clenching her feet
colonizing the claws and shriek

I don’t want this
I don’t want this
Choose someone else
Anyone
Just not me

But fingernails only scraped wind
cries only collided with one pair of shattered ears
Someone tossed God in a vacant room
With thousands of light switches
ivory tabs padding the confinement
God flicks them
clicking the only music in this realm
God doesn’t know 
which breaths they turn on and off
God just prays
to swallow enough matches
to spit fiery escape
But praying does little
When it’s to yourself

Every day faceless hands slip God letters

Dear God
Get us pregnant
Get us happy
Make me love me
Slaughter the emptiness
that chews on each limb

There are no return addresses

Dear God
Thanks for the miscarriage
You should’ve saved the farm
She’s dead
They took my leg
He took it from me
It’s your fault

There are no responses

Dear God
You vomited earth across this carpet universe
and left it for us to vacuum
Abandoning nations in the streets
without bothering to clean them up first
You give them shoes and us war
and I’m tired of writing to something that doesn’t exist
I’m not looking for you
Because you’re not anywhere
You are the bedtime lie
we swallow to sleep easier

awaken us through devouring nightmares

There are only light switches
frantically ambushed by fists
Trying to save the people
Trying to save the creator
Trying to howl

I’m sorry
I don’t know what I’m doing

Rippling Morris code
 ripped from the eternal tongue
Sometimes God thinks we’re right
her existence is a fraying fabrication
discount store linen to curtain the windows of our faces
They say 
free cities and minds
But God is just another prisoner

I know where God is
Tied to backs of throats
and crests of eyes
dawn intruding on vegetation
trapped on street corners 
in cardboard boxes of perfection 
we hollow out under church bells
begging

I didn’t want this
Choose someone else
Anyone else
Just
Not
Me

And God takes our letters
Skinned moments tattooed with wanting
Beating them against aorta
breaking a sputtering heart
God gets on her knees
And cries for salvation
But praying does little
When it’s to yourself.

Wednesday, May 1, 2013

I Cheated


Listen, University, we need to talk
I really wish that I had been more upfront about this
But I’ve been seeing other colleges
I said you were the college of my dreams
But I’m not sure what my dreams are anymore
I made a commitment to you
But sometimes I feel like committing made me need to get committed

Him?
What do you want to know about him?
 
He’s beautiful
I like that he’s more prestigious
That when I got in a girl in my bio class told my friend
“I didn’t know Ariel was that smart”
He’s ranked higher than you
When I’m with him people look at me differently
Like I am something
When I’m with you they look at me
Like I’m going to be something
I don’t like the people you hang around
They’re nosy and noisy
They join frats and talk about beer pong on the admitted students’ page
His friends ask about books
And really ask
They dig into the writers and eras
Yours just talk about hating the rival school
He is only three hours away
And he’s close enough to my parents that they can visit
But you want me to move across the country for you
To abandon all I know
And sell my soul to the West coast
Next him you’re fat
Your enormous
And I feel lost in your excessive flesh
He’s small
A mix of familiar faces and places
Yet new scents and tastes
I feel like when I’m there I matter
You make me feel insignificant
Just a damn number
And I know
That was the thing you thought I liked about you
#1 film school
26 in my major
Hundreds of thousands of dollars in merit scholarships
But sometimes I feel like you bought me
He’s more expensive
Too expensive
He knows that he’s world class
Everyone tells me that you are the one
That you will open doors for me
Before I walk into every room
You’ll make me famous
But my closest friends
The people who actually know me
Whisper his name in my ears
And I smile
I like the fact that your past loves
Are George Lucas, Judd Apatow, Shonda Rhymes
And that being with you puts me on their level
But yet I still feel ashamed to wear your shirt
Because although I once thought that you made me worth something
I feel like I’m settling
I hate that I have to stand up for you
Tell everyone how amazing you are
That this is a big deal
(And so am I) goddammit
When I’m with him they know
I know
I hate that I need everyone to validate me
That I need a fancy name to put on the back of my car
That I feel beneath everyone unless they are being dazzled by something
By me being exceptional
Because my greatest is fear is being ordinary
Scratch that
My greatest fear is that my greatest fear is being myself
Because I am mundane
And that shreds my soul
The thought of being a spec on no one’s radar
At least make me be an unseen iceberg
Let me sink something titanic
I don’t even feel like I know you
You aren’t the unattainable dream I thought you were
Sometimes I wish I didn’t even apply
I spent so much time trying to attain you
I worked so hard perfecting essays and plays and samples
(My supplement was over 30 pages)
The thought of giving you up is unheard of
Because I’m bound by this “once in a lifetime opportunity”
 But maybe mine is the wrong lifetime
Maybe the right lifetime
Is the girl who has been making movies since she was ten
I’m a poet
Not a screenwriter
And I don’t think I’m adequate at that
Tonight my mother told me that I will never make it
I have no talent
And that I’m living a delusion
And all the connections and reflections and inspections
Will never transgress me from being nothing
Because that’s all I have
Nothing
Talent
Nothing
Success
Nothing
Respect
Nothing
Brilliance
Nothing
Ariel
Nothing
And I believe her
Because mother knows best
That I’ll never exceed the rest
I’m a high school girl not fit for the men
Because when they separate us I won’t even fall with the boys
So I put on his sweatshirt and lie on my bed some nights and cry
With him I feel safe
I feel at home
Appreciated by people who see things in me I never thought to see in myself
Sometimes I don’t want to go back to you because
You terrify me
I’m not sure if I know you
And I’m not sure if I know me
And you tell me that I am good enough
I’m not sure if I can handle someone who loves me
Unconditionally
Who wants to pay and care for me
You’re challenging and more intense than even I am
You want me to become a better me
And make you a better you
While he just wants me to improve
Just wants me to adhere to his standards
To mold in his community—which already is a close fit
You’re distant and foreign
I don’t know if I can discover all of you in time
But I was talking to one of the girl’s who’s been with him
And she says that
Terrifying can be good
And there is something
Terrifyingly wonderful
Mysteriously mystical
About you
And I enrolled in you
I committed myself to us
Even though I don’t understand who I am yet
Because there are only a few degrees of feeling
Between fear and thrills.

Contact

Ariel is available and interested in anything creative!
For spoken word performances & workshops, web & graphic design, or other writing/film projects please contact via email at arielsob@usc.edu.
New York & Los Angeles work preferred!