Mom, I'm a Rapper

Last night I told my mom that I'm going to be a rapper

Because my tongue and wit are a hell lot faster

Than lil Wayne's complains about not enough hoes and too many bastards

And all that serious shit that's on Sirius XM that stemmed from the crapper

Because I can take the box out of b-box

Find inspiration from Ted talks

Lines in long walks down the pages of my diary

And Jimmy Ivoine would hire me

Because I'd actually look good in those low cut jeans

I'd build a quilt with seams and dreams rather than swag and do rags

I'd call the fearless stags instead of fags

And have bags under my eyes from spending my nights editing out lies

Turning on lights in the rooms where I'm most vulnerable

And I'd put you under a spell with the fact I could spell

Words tasty and swell

And my rap name would practically be the same

Ariel So Belle

Or

Snow White

Because I've been awaken by the kiss of life

And my bar fights

Will be with ripping tights

Before my first sip

And from my lips will drip

Wisdom

Like how come

There's a statute of limitations for rape

We offer asylum but for thousands of refugees there's no escape

And we try to fix broken nations with tape

We shape our asses but not children

And when it comes to change we ask how instead of when

I'd spit a fit that would rearrange the strange and strangers

Put a new range on danger

I'd out rhyme Eminem and Lil Wayne

Throw a stake through Drake

And make Dre need a Doctor

Nicki Minaj would show her ass and I'd top her with some class

And explain to 2 Chainz that some dope shit runs through my veins

and he'd hand me the reins

as I got more out of Macklemore

and showed Ludacris the door

Because I won't bring you to your knees

But leave you on the floor

Shattered and sore

For my tongue has spun things as crazy as Amanda Bynes

And my heart has beat faster than the quickest Vines

And my rhymes are hotter than Ryan Gosling watching Titanic

We might not be at the disco but you better panic

Because I am the manic

depressant

fluorescent

luminescent

adolescent

and life may be evanescent and but I'll stay effervescent

Knock me down I'm convalescent

In the dark I'm incandescent

And I refuse to be quiescent

I am the next great rapper

You can't tap her

But tap into her

I'm pretty sure

That my mom would try to detour me from this path

Get me to study art or math

But hip hop needs and feeds me

And there's no way I'm going back.