I Know Where God Is

I know where God is

That’s right

I know where God is

And she's not hiding

She's trapped

decaying shackles clenching her feet
colonizing the claws and shriek

I don’t want this

I don’t want this

Choose someone else

Anyone

Just not me

But fingernails only scraped wind

cries only collided with one pair of shattered ears

Someone tossed God in a vacant room

With thousands of light switches

ivory tabs padding the confinement

God flicks them

clicking the only music in this realm

God doesn’t know 

which breaths they turn on and off

God just prays

to swallow enough matches
to spit fiery escape

But praying does little

When it’s to yourself

Every day faceless hands slip God letters

Dear God

Get us pregnant

Get us happy

Make me love me

Slaughter the emptiness
that chews on each limb

There are no return addresses

Dear God

Thanks for the miscarriage

You should’ve saved the farm

She’s dead

They took my leg

He took it from me

It’s your fault

There are no responses

Dear God

You vomited earth across this carpet universe
and left it for us to vacuum

Abandoning nations in the streets

without bothering to clean them up first

You give them shoes and us war

and I’m tired of writing to something that doesn’t exist

I’m not looking for you

Because you’re not anywhere

You are the bedtime lie
we swallow to sleep easier
awaken us through devouring nightmares

There are only light switches

frantically ambushed by fists

Trying to save the people

Trying to save the creator

Trying to howl

I’m sorry

I don’t know what I’m doing

Rippling Morris code

 ripped from the eternal tongue
Sometimes God thinks we’re right

her existence is a fraying fabrication
discount store linen to curtain the windows of our faces

They say 
free cities and minds

But God is just another prisoner

I know where God is
Tied to backs of throats

and crests of eyes
dawn intruding on vegetation

trapped on street corners 
in cardboard boxes of perfection 
we hollow out under church bells

begging

I didn’t want this

Choose someone else

Anyone else

Just

Not

Me

And God takes our letters

Skinned moments tattooed with wanting

Beating them against aorta

breaking a sputtering heart
God gets on her knees

And cries for salvation

But praying does little

When it’s to yourself.