Back to Square 2

Square 1
The sum of a few glances
Taken chances
Talk that is no longer small
When I noticed I could fall for you
Sparks in the air
Speaking stares
Airs filled with discovery
Of who you are and what you crave to be
Uncovering compatibility
And possibilities
Fresh meat sizzled in our romantic stew
And the flavor grew
As we encountered Square 2
Occasional hellos
Walking together unsure where to go
I laughed at your jokes
And you laughed at me
How my actions are never performed gracefully
Everything simple and sweet
In the chaos of unveiled futures and progressing feet
Dancing beneath ladders
Because we didn't need luck
We were stuck
In a jocular semi-flirtatious tone
Accelerating replies through my phone
Or cell
I could tell that
I was a familiar face
A reserved place in the friend zone
But your beauty emerged
Something potent had grown
I was devoured by the urge to splurge on an internal nip and tuck
Conforming myself to the one you'd like to--and suddenly Square 3 struck
Texting for seven hours straight
Speaking of metaxy and fate
Sprinkling admiration in our debates
Glimmers of secrets immersed in your eye
And your presence forced my stomach to fly
Then crash
I saw not an ash but a provocative flame
Evocative of thrills every time I heard your name
You convinced me that you felt the same
My sparrow of a hand clenched yours
And you didn't complain
That it wasn't tame
Forbidden words and gestures
Hidden jokes and treasures
The time I said
You think you're very witty
And you replied
Hell yeah I'm clever
And you beat something out of me
Transformed my heart into leather
Solidifying expectations of together and forever
Never reflecting
Only expecting
You to illuminate my days
With your gaze
Like a firefly in the night
And my pupils witnessed everything yet I had no sight
Only the power to ignite more affection
To thrust it in your direction
Us was defined by perfection
There was no need for cautionary inspection
Because everything was key
Until you chose someone who wasn't me.

Suddenly I was evacuated from Square 3
I'd been played like a guitar or a game of Yahtzee
Whatever we had was defenestrated
I was devastated
For you had penetrated
My verbose exoskeleton
I gave you the power to break my heart
The system failed and I didn't dare press restart
I encountered you and didn't greet
You looked at me and our eyes didn't meet
There was silence as you took your seat
Which was no longer next to mine
For you degraded me into a piece of meat
Then turned on the heat
Letting micro-organisms dwell on my carcass and begin to eat
I was shattered and frustrated
I still am
So I took a stand
And abdicated
Leaving you isolated
But it also generated
A stabbing sensation in my heart
Because Square 0 is awfully tart
I didn't know how to perform the part
Of a gargoyle
For the stone took a toil
And started to soil all my inner organs and places
Preventing homeostasis
Only a series of biological races towards death
There was agony in each breath
For you took a step away and so did I
And the distance was unbearable
Practically irreparable
For you are a magnet
And I'm nothing but a set of iron
So the forces pried on
I loved you even when I hated you
So after my treatment of silence
And emotional violence
I played with fire
Spoke with you, old flame
I'll probably get scorched but I can endure the pain
Just not this game
And as we reconnected the crisis returned to the same
And mundane
Nothing had changed 
But me
I struggled to find my location
And it occurred to me
I was not in Square 0, nor 3
I am now in Square 2
We aren't strangers, but we are still new
I don't have a clue what you'll do
Only that I'm back as your companion
The friend who once loved you.


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