Call the Doctor, You've Left Me Breathless

If I’ve committed any crime to my body

I swear it’s loving you

My chest vacillates from emptiness

To overflowing agony

Depending on the glance you shoot me

My weak knees are falling into my shins

And I cannot stand

I need support

To be guided by your hand

But it rarely comes

 I am left incapacitated and confined

In a box in my mind

Praying to find

You

My addictive painkiller

To devour you

And be pacified by merely awaiting your effect

Apathetic to if you’ll respect

My caverns and crevices

Because when you ignore me

It's blastemphy
God and gravity dragging me to the ground

I feel my butterflies being disemboweled

Disappointment that cannot be transformed

Into a stew of consonants and vowels

Drenched in confusion

Hand me a towel

And absorb some of this doting

Use diffusion

To expunge affection floating in deception

Because you

Drug

Have deformed my reflection

I look into the glass and see a girl

Not a direction

I need a director

To adjust me to a proper angle

Before you tangle all of my hairs

Leaving my scalp bare

I’m not scared of being nude

I’m terrified of it chasing off you

My father is Picasso
And you know was sketched with azure

I’m not sure

Of anything anymore

Except these sores on my soul

And that you are the source of their toll

Should I stop, drop, and roll?

For my world is ablaze

And I am lost in its haze

Swimming in smoke

Preparing to choke

On the polluted air I’ve come to adore

Because the unknown has so much allure

I crave to explore the darkness

Your darkness

And I confess

It often compels me to obsess

Over your not so deliberate liberated actions

And my over-thought poorly executed reactions

Leaving merely fractions of what I desire

Because choosing you has set my form on fire

And damn it burns

These soaring yearns for you

My scalded hands unable to do

Anything

But sing the same old song

Always getting the same words wrong

Everything is falling flat

Except me

A cat

Scratching up an impenetrable post

And I hate felines

But you’ve converted me into one of their kind

And I can’t find any clarity

Only a disparity

Between my feelings for you and those you return

Or at least the ones you display

In this reckless relay

And I wish I could play

The right hand

But I could never understand the king of hearts

I only have practice in throwing darts

At past rejections

And unspoken affections

But we’ve talked

I’ve done more than stalked

I took the plunge

Into something I fear is an empty pool

I’ve shattered all the rules

Of what I thought I wanted to like or be

 Of the boy I craved to touch and see

Now I can’t breathe

My lungs are compressed within my chest

Because I took in air

Filled it with words to express

And left them loitering

This is the tale

Of how I can’t inhale

Anything new

You’ve left me breathless

Suffocating

And there is nothing oxygen can do

Until I’ve obtained you

I wish that you were capturing me

But I’ve been captivated from our first conversation

The first minor romantic invitation

I charged into your cages expecting a celebration

But all I encountered was devastation

And humiliation at my own desperation

How I’d do anything for our relation to acquire a ship

To be the girl in your friend

But instead I’m going to be hospitalized

For the crimes I’ve done to my body

For allowing it to trip

Breaking my heart, heels, and hip

Someone needs to biopsy the chip

On my shoulder

Because that boulder

Eroded to a pebble

And I needed it to level the natural highs this world gives me

You’ve generated a force that keeps me elevated

And frustrated

Makes my sentiments overrated then overstated

My motives tainted

My god, I nearly fainted

The last time you held my hand

I just can’t understand

How you could be so perfect and horrible and the same time

How you blow my mind

Then force me to engrave conflicted rhymes

You know desperate times call for…measures

I’m just attempting to make sure mine aren’t too desperate

Because I want your respect

That’s a lie

I want your hand interlocked with mine

Your eyes locked in mine

Your reason gone blind

I want you

Your mind and body

Even if the price is mine.